Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Hump Day Humor, Perks of Age

Sent to me in email and just had to share...
Someone had to remind me,
so I'm reminding you, too.
Don't laugh.... It is all true!


Perks of reaching 50
or being over 60

And heading towards 
70 or beyond! 

01. 
Kidnappers are not very
interested in you.

02. 
In a hostage situation,
you are likely to be released first.

03. 
No one expects you to run -- 
anywhere.

04. 
People call at 9 PM (or 9 A M) and ask,
'Did I wake you?


05. 
People no longer view you
as a hypochondriac.


06. 
There is nothing left
to learn the hard way.

07. 
Things you buy now
won't wear out.

08. 
You can eat
supper at 4 PM.

09... 
You can live without sex
but not your glasses.

10. 
You get into heated arguments
about pension plans.

11. 
You no longer think of
speed limits as a challenge.


12. 
You quit trying to hold
your stomach in no matter
who walks into the room.


13. 
You sing along
with elevator music.

14. 
Your eyes won't get
much worse.

15.
Your investment in health insurance
is finally beginning to pay off. 


16. 
Your joints are more accurate
meteorologists than the
national weather service.


17. 
Your secrets are safe with your
friends because they can't
remember them either.


18. 
Your supply of brain cells is finally
down to a manageable size.


19. 
You can't remember
who sent you this list. 


And you notice these
are all in big print for
your convenience.


AND THE MOST IMPORTANT THING:
Never, NEVER, NEVER
under any circumstances,
take a sleeping pill, and
a laxative on the same night!

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