Points to ponder:
1) Sometimes I look down at my watch three consecutive times and still do not know what time it is.
2) Nothing stinks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you are wrong.
3) I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
4) There is a great need for a sarcasm font.
5) How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6) Was learning cursive really necessary?
7) MapQuest really needs to start its directions on No. 5. I am pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8) I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
9) Bad decisions make good stories.
10) You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
11) Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blu-ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection... again.
12) I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my 10-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
13) I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
14) I wish Google Maps had an "avoid ghetto" routing option.
15) I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
16) How many times is it appropriate to say, "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
17) I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
18) Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
19) Even under ideal conditions, people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cellphone, and pinning the tail on a donkey, but I bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from three feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.
20) The first "cup," was used in the sport of hockey beginning in 1874 and the helmet was used beginning in 1974. That means that it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brains are also important.
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