1. The Full Situp
To achieve the full situp, you must begin with the genuine intention of exercising your abs
To achieve the full situp, you must begin with the genuine intention of exercising your abs
and promptly fall asleep midway through the task. This position is extremely advanced
and not recommended for amateur sleepers.
2. The Awkward Spoon
The goal here is not so much intimacy as it is the socially uncomfortable sharing of a
physical space with someone. Bonus points if your arm falls asleep but you're too
embarrassed to move it.
Tuck your tail between your legs and imagine that you are an omelet.
The trick is to look like someone who is acting comfortable whilst also appearing
extremely uncomfortable. Let's take this excellent opportunity to coin the term "meta-comfortable."
You will need a partner for this one. The goal is not so much comfort as an expression of sheer, unadulterated greed.
Any old box will do, but two of your feet - preferably on opposite sides of your body -
must remain outside the container at all times.
Do not even attempt unless you have tiny, tiny, precious little legs.
Find a baby. Imitate the baby.
For this, you will need at least three friends who are not averse to your sleeping on them.
10. The Full-Box
Just get your whole damn body in there no matter what it takes. Be the box.
Just because you are obviously some kind of gin-addled hobo doesn't mean you can't be nice and warm.
Find a dog. Imitate the dog.
Bury your furry little head in your paws and try to look as contemplative and
bookish as possible before drifting off.
Measure the floor with every inch of your tiny body.
The whole world is your hammock.
Imagine that you are a wet T-shirt, fresh from the washing machine. Drape yourself accordingly.
Think of yourself as a last-minute fruit salad that everyone will be very polite about
but probably not enjoy all that much.
Head to the ground, paws in the air - let gravity do the rest.
For this one you will need first to find two willing conformists.
Only recommended for individuals with extreme forms of narcolepsy.
Have a friend or loved one take you apart and put you back together haphazardly inside a box.
22. The Bag Of Limbs (Couch Edition)
Same as above, except (obviously) without the box.
Not a bed for dogs, but a bed that is made of dogs. I.e., the most comfortable bed
you will ever sleep on that also smells kind of funky.
Fall asleep on the job. LOL.
Don't be afraid to snore.
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